BLACK TONGUES OF THE ILLUMINATI is an unclassifiable novella written by a veteran author and artist Alex S. Johnson, who also helms the great SHWIBLY Magazine/Press.
Guillermo Del Torro woke up today thinking he was helming the biggest ass/tongue project of the summer, Pacific Rim, but he was wrong, dead wrong. TONGUES licks the butthole of our very minds, and those said minds will recoil in horror once they are brought into the Looney Toons world of ALEX S. JOHNSON. Alex is one of the crazy writers I've ever read, his lunacy reaches impossible realms and leaves me exhausted and dizzy. Where the fuck have I just been? I ask myself this after coming back from ANY world created by Mr. Johnson. But ESPECIALLY this world. Johnson takes us to a parallel universe where "Biffany Spars" is a famous singer amidst other stars like "Serena Lopez" and "Masonna". Masonna is a two-fer; it combines Madonna and the term 'Free Mason' into one word, and those concepts permeate into the core of this book.
Guillermo Del Torro may have the more 'traditional beasts' in his PACIFIC RIM, but Johnson unleashes his imagination yet again on our mind's assholes, 'rimming' them more than anything in the Pacific ever could. We get an Aleister Crowley shit Golem! Not even Del Torro's movie can get to those shitty depths. But Alex takes us there, again, there's an Aleister Crowley shit Golem...
This brings me back to my original point -- I just can't classify this thing! Even the reality and sanity of my review is getting corrupted by it's own contents. This book has a weird mind altering effect to it, it seems almost like nonsensical hobo gibberish but then you get some kind of cosmic revelation.
Above all, the reader is drenched in unknown fluids from the perverse Outer Sex that takes place in this literary nuclear weapon.
I need to read "IV. Operation Apocalypse" aka chapter four again, and everything after, to even hope to digest and calculate Johnson's angry hippie rantings. Those rantings contain the secret codes of the Illuminati, though, and are worth seeking out.
There's no way to 'rate' this book, so I say just buy it already. "Good" or "Bad" don't even apply. It's a paradoxical aberration.
~David Anderson
